Part of the reason why I’m happy today is that in spite of the fear of how I might be perceived or what may be said about me, I put myself out there.
Pressing post on my first article for my blog on Dec 31st, 2015 was the catalyst for drastic change in my life. It was also what propelled me towards this idea that I might be really awesome in my inherent state.
Me as is, was something to be celebrated, not frowned upon.
It also taught me that it was OK to be me on a global scale, on any scale for that matter, and that I had a talent, of which I didn’t have to feel bad about celebrating.
I could stop minimizing my worth.
In putting myself out there, I was able to get myself into a state of wellness.
But it was really hard to do in the beginning.The reason I was so scared was that I was so deeply concerned about what others might say or think of me – the underlying issue to that being that I craved perfection.
And without an editor, the perfect amount of sleep, a peer review and the clarity of a Buddhist monk, it wasn’t going to happen.
I mean heck, perfection just doesn’t exist. And it’s in correcting the errors that we find greatness.
I believe in the process of life. I trust it. So when I find an error days later and gasp in horror, I look at it as a chance to give myself a pep talk.
“Andrea – just because you made an error doesn’t mean you suck. It means you were in the zone and your eyes skimmed over it.”
You also never know where that edit and update may take you. After I update something I usually share it on social media again. And who knows who might come across that post? Maybe they will find some common ground in what I’ve written? Maybe it will help them face something they have been scared to admit to or talk about?
I believe we need to do our best, all the time. But sometimes my best isn’t the best of the best. For example, when I’ve had a rough sleep, but I wake up with this idea for an article and it just pours out of me like syrup.
The idea might be amazing, but the packaging might not be that great. That day, the article as a whole might not be my all-time best. But because I’m feeling it, and I follow the goosebumps, I post it.
I believe those pulls to do something are things we must listen to. So I do. And every-time I do I get better at being me.
Days later I often find an error or two. But you know what? That’s inevitable. It’s gonna happen. The eyes that are reading it two days later aren’t the eyes that skimmed it two days earlier at 6 am.
Plus, with clients, dishes, and laundry I don’t have time to take my posts through a rigid editing process. So I choose to post it and move past the fear of judgment or shame that sits on my shoulder telling me I should be scared to share my words with the world.
So to one and all: put yourself out there. Do your best. Just know that your best isn’t going to be Harper Collins editing team quality, at all times. And don’t hate on yourself when you inevitably realize that.
The world needs you to be you, so keep putting yourself out there.
xo
A
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