What does emotional freedom look like to you?
For me, it’s the dream of feeling oh-well-ish about how other people choose to act. It’s, “Hey dude, It’s your choice to show your pain, in the way you feel you need to show it.”
It’s walking away when it feels like too much, without any weight on my heart.
The place I’m trying to get to in my heart is where I can full-time accept that we are all at different points in our emotional evolution. I want to stop defaulting to expectations and instead focus on how I can ride the wave of perceived rejection and still put my heart out there and help people.
I want to say a lot by not saying anything. I want a pause to take the place of an excessively rehearsed conversation with someone I have a really hard time being emotionally generous with.
I want to set the tone, not match it.
I want high frequency, not emotional regression.
But if things don’t go well I also want the freedom to feel, in the safety of my own space and time. I want to cry and not feel bad about feeling bad. I don’t want to wear big girl panties, I wanna wear whatever the fuck I want to wear while I cry and release the grossly false assumption that to not have it all together at all times is to be a deeply flawed, irrational human being.
I want to stop stifling myself.
I want to feel, even when I don’t want to feel.
I want to be free.