self kindness

The Grief Experience

September 5, 2020 By Must Love Crows Leave a Comment

You know when things start to feel heavy inside. When something needs to be excavated. You just convince yourself you don’t know.

You seek a physical reason for a physical symptom. After all, you were taught to devalue the messages of your avatar.

Your lungs become heavy just as your thoughts become the same. Maybe depression seeps into your pores – and your core. And you think, “This is wrong; this is bad. I must stop this.”

I call to you now to NOT try to stop it. To see the power in this slowing down, which may feel forceful and out of control, but serves as a way for grief to be transmuted.

I used to be so afraid of the messages my body sent me. And as the fear grew, so did the symptoms. To the point that I could not see the origins: grief that I did not understand the source of, but yet still had the right and need to exist within me.

I do not fight anymore. I do not try to change my experiences. I have learned to try to befriend what I have feared, what I was taught to fear: the messages my beloved body has been trying to tell me from the very first primal violation of my spirit.

Grief comes in waves. It does not always make sense. It’s timing is often absolute shit in the scope of our human desires. But on a soul level, it’s divinely orchestrated and is done an injustice when argued with.

Back into the gallows I go. Cause that’s what grief feels like. It’s not bad. It just IS.

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2020 Vibes – Insights Into The Year Ahead

December 31, 2019 By Must Love Crows Leave a Comment

This year I’m doing things a little differently with my new year’s post.

I’m not focusing too much on what happened in 2019 (Trust me – I’ve done enough ruminating on that 😜)…

I’m focusing on sharing insights on how to work with the flow of the year ahead.

I’ve written the following post and also recorded some audio (⬆︎⬆︎⬆︎) which is me, riffing on upcoming themes and sharing some intel on how to work with what comes your way.

The blog post and the audio have different info so feel free to hit them both up. 🖤

There’s some intel based on astrological research and common themes circulating the collective in conjunction with my intuitive insights, and some suggestions on how to meander 2020 and all the Whoa it’s going to offer us in a more productive way.

Check out the audio above or give the following post a read.

Or do both. Whatever works for you. 💛

Insights Into The Year Ahead

1 – Help people heal themselves

When I say help people heal themselves I don’t mean getting all up in people’s faces and business, trying to pour help onto them. It’s super-duper important that we wait until we have been asked, or – this one is a bit trickier to meander – wait for an opening where we can offer assistance to someone who may appear to be in need.

We help others heal by making sure we’re paying attention to how we feel.

Sound weird? Read on.

Let’s say you’re feeling on edge. 2020 will provide you days like that.

What’s important this year is to be your own caregiver and witness how you feel when you feel on edge.

To be gentle – gentler than you have ever been with yourself.

Witnessing how you feel is a powerful act. When you S E E your feelings and your struggle to accept them – when you allow what is to exist – you heal. And that impacts the people around you.

This kind of self-nurturing/self-mothering work acts as a counter to fiery impulses to paint the town or other people crimson with your reactionary driven vibes.

THERE ARE NO LIFE HACKS TO THIS AND IT CAN BE TOUGH BUT…

2020 is the year that we take ownership of our feelings and transform the ways we’ve always reacted to them.

It’s not easy. It takes a lot of hours to become great at something. But every ounce of time and effort we put in contributes to the desired outcome.

In this case, the desired outcome is healing what needs to be healed within Y O U.

We all need to heal to some degree, and a lot of healing happens on the subconscious level – outside of our awareness or capacity to see it happening.

Just because we don’t understand that internal shifts are happening while we do this inner work doesn’t mean healing isn’t going on.

There’s so much healing that goes on below the surface. We don’t have the type of control we desire over it.

We may not get to decide when and how things shift within us, but we are still responsible for putting in the work to make it happen.

We aren’t always able to be voyeurs of the healing that’s happening, ie it’s not always clear what’s going on. But still…

We facilitate the healing we can’t quantify or name by acting like mothers to ourselves when we are struggling.

Instead of shame or blame, we can take a gentler approach to our struggles. We can offer ourselves the patience and love required to heal and accept the unknown (’cause we often try to fight with the reality of changes’ existence. More on this in the next section. 💚)

Note: You really want to shy away from trying to go all mother Teresa on the people you assume require your help in 2020, particularly when they haven’t asked for it.

Often this is born of a desire to not do the work we need to do within ourselves. It’s a procrastination method.

In 2020, be wary of desires to take over – to try to dump what you know onto others who haven’t asked for your input.

There will be a lot of people processing heavy shit this year, and it won’t be helpful if other people are poking their opinions and beliefs into the mix. People need space to process.

Do your best to stay in your lane this year.

A page of my life in 2019 = This was a huge theme for me towards the end of the year. I experienced a lot of people assuming I didn’t know stuff – of them trying to help me with things I didn’t need assistance with. Annoying but also helpful because it was a catalyst for me to be wary of my capacity to do the same to others, and dig into comprehending the difference between caregiving and caretaking. You take from others when you try to help people who haven’t said, “Yes, please help me with this.” You give to them when you honour all that they know in the absence of awareness of the knowledge they possess inside of them.

There may be some circumstances when it is productive to offer assistance. Certain openings may come up that create the optimal environment for you to peek your head in and say, “Hey, do you need some help? ‘Cause I know a little about what you’re going through.”

But there is also power (and the need) to understand that you don’t always need to follow the lead of the inner impulse to offer your two cents.

Q to ask yourself throughout 2020 = Is my input needed, requested, or helpful in this situation?

As hard as it is to watch people struggle (or act like assholes) the struggle can often catalyze change.

When something sucks to experience, it creates an opening – an opportunity – to do things differently.

People don’t always see or take that opportunity when it’s in their face and that’s difficult to witness. But it’s still not up to us to swoop in and try to fix someone or something without being asked.

There are moments when we can follow the inner call to be of service to someone who is struggling. And we do need to listen to those.

We just need to make sure it’s not our ego wanting to just jump in and make things the way we feel they need to be because…

Our conditioning has a powerful impact on our capacity to understand the source of our motivations to get involved in other people’s shit.

A great way to flush out whether your eagerness to get involved or provide unrequested input is a conditioned-based desire or a true, heart-led desire to be of service is to do an inner inquiry. Ask yourself:

Why do I feel called to try to fix something or someone? Is it to avoid the work I need to do on myself? Or is it a pure intention, a soul-led desire to assist?

When we witness people without wanting to change them, we help them heal.

Digging into understanding other people’s Why’s – why they do or don’t do certain things – helps us to detangle ourselves from our conditioning, too. This is especially important in the presence of intense feelings of aggressive judgement.

When you want to lash out at people who lash out, it’s time to pause and inquire.

If we can understand on a cellular level that someone isn’t the sum of our judgments of them, but a person who is facing an emotional undoing and clinging to a desire to not want to change, we help them heal.

Sometimes their intense emotions might make it easy for them to lash out in our presence. That’s never fun to experience.

But anytime we don’t respond to aggression with more aggression we help people heal.

WE ALSO HEAL OURSELVES.

When we’re locked and loaded to anger, resentment, contempt* and judgment we don’t have space within for healing to happen. Rather, we stagnate ourselves.

There’s just too much of the heavy stuff everywhere. There’s no room within us to add anything new, let alone space for what we truly desire to enter the mix.

We need to make room within ourselves for the experiences and feelings we desire to enter the scene. You can’t enter a home that is already at full capacity.

Set the intention this year to create a home within yourself – a landscape that is capable of welcoming new experiences.

Seek out the stuff and things that are taking up a lot of space within you, yet aren’t serving you. Notice their presence and how they affect you. Make sure you see them.

Note: I recommend investigating IFS – Internal Family Systems. It’s a powerful process. There are a lot of books about it. Hit me up for recommendations.

* A note on contempt: This is a theme that needs to get flushed out this year. It’s a powerful relationship destructor. We need relationships with others and ourselves to be productive – to get where we’re destined to go. To learn more about contempt check out this post in my resource section.

2 – Use your fire strategically

There will be a lot of transitions this year. A lot of change. And with all the change comes resistance.

We can’t avoid the changes that are coming.

All we can do is set the intention to uncover the courage within to trust that these new experiences are for our greater good – both the ones that feel good and the ones that feel bad.

A lot of things need to die.

They may be broken but we keep using them because it’s familiar to us. We may feel comfortable using something that’s broken, and even feel safe amidst the long-term struggle, of trying to make something broken work for us, not against us.

In 2020, what’s broken is going to need to be parted with.

Car analogy = Say your car is on the fritz and it finally breaks down on the highway. Instead of calling a tow truck and sorting out how to get home, you bang your fists on the window for hours, believing the car will come back to life if you beat it enough – that you’ll magically end up driving away at some point by doing the same thing, over and over again, even though it’s not helping you one iota.

You don’t want to do this kind of unproductive stuff in 2020.

Change is coming. Stuff you’re used to will change, evolve, grow. Die. Versions of who you once were are ready to die.

IE you’re going to evolve, whether you want to or not. It can be difficult or less difficult depending on your willingness to realize that you can’t stop this train.

Evolution baby. It’s here. And no fist banging is going to stop it.

If you’ve gone most of your life fighting with change this year is going to be tough. If you’ve extensively and redundantly resisted change then this year is going to be hella challenging.

2020 is the year of doing the inner work required to get you in alignment with the work you’re here to do. ∞ ∞ ∞

If you’ve got a lot of fire within you it’s probably helped you act or not act throughout your life. You can use your fire to dig your heels in and be stubborn AF. You can use your fire to foster an extensively reactionary way of interacting with others.

You can also use your fire as a strategy to help align you with what you truly want to experience in life.

Right now is the time to start interrogating HOW you use your fire, and question if it’s helping.

I use the word interrogate to highlight the need to take this seriously. Not to self-shame or bully yourself about how you’ve been doing things, but to get serious about taking a comb to how you react to your experiences and your feelings.

Question if how you’ve been doing things is helping you achieve what you truly desire, and/or what you could do differently to align yourself with feeling how you want to feel.

Easy to crap on the fiery aspects of our personalities; Productive to use the fire to your advantage.

In 2020, direct your fire toward strategies that serve you.

How are you going to process strong emotions when they come up? What will you do when you feel out of your skin uncomfortable with certain feelings? STRATEGIZE.

If you don’t have a fiery personality to help you establish and use a strategy, seek out people who have the fire you need.

The energy of who you surround yourself with affects you. So get strategic with who you surround yourself with.

Absorb their energy. Use their energy to help fire you up. Tap into their gifts and abilities. Work with them and learn through them. And use what you learn to help work through what needs to be worked through.

NOTE: If you want more direction or guidance on how to work with what you’ve got in the year ahead check out this page.

3 – A time for celebration

Within the intense periods of 2020, there exists room to celebrate.

The changes we struggle to accept, and the fear that bubbles up when we feel uncomfortable about how we feel: these are all signs of the capacity for amazing things to arise from the wake of change.

Over the years I’ve uncovered a powerful capacity to witness what is beyond my current experience or feelings – what my fear and discomfort are capable of unveiling.

I know the power of inner work – of sitting with how I feel and allowing myself to feel my feelings. It’s a catalyst for amazing experiences to unfold.

This is not easy work.

The fallacy of our society and our humanness, which trips us up A LOT is that somehow this inner work is supposed to be easy. That it needs to be easy.

Some things are easy. And some things are just easier for some people.

This kind of inner work isn’t easy for ANYONE.

It’s the hardest work you can do, to witness the feelings you are taught to deny, push down, or ignore.

But the outcome of the witnessing is magic.⚡️⚡️⚡️

As you inevitably experience some challenges throughout 2020, remember what these challenging times are capable of producing.

You might not be able to see what’s coming, but something is being created within and through the heaviness of strong emotions and disruptions to the ease and flow you crave.

You might not always be able to see the sky, but it’s always there. And within the murky waters is clear water that is fueling you towards your soul-driven desires, whether you see it or not.

What you truly want is at the other end of all the change 2020 is bringing.

It’s braided within it and throughout it, waiting to be unveiled, IF you allow what needs to happen for it to come to the surface to happen.

I’m not saying this year ahead is going to be awful, and I’m not saying it’s going to be easy either.

2020 is going to be different.

It’s going to be filled with never-ending opportunities to evolve which will go a lot smoother IF you allow the currents of change to take you, instead of clinging to a reed (a refusal to accept change) which is destined to break.

∞ Breathe deeply and float with the currents of 2020 ∞

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Give yourself lots of breaks from the inner work you do in 2020.

Balance out the intensity with lightness.

Watch a lot of funny movies. Read some beautiful books. Travel when you can (travelling can mean walking around the block).

Allow for moments to mentally disengage with all that draws from you.

Align yourself with energies that serve you. That means making sure your Instagram and FB feeds are filled with energy that empowers you.

Every action we make in life is a vote for what we want to experience. Unfollow all accounts that contribute to you feeling small, not good enough – not empowered.

Side note: you don’t have to explain yourself or your actions made in the name of your own wellness to anyone. Not replying is a message. (Not sure who needs to read that but I sure do.)

Also: Shut your phone off. A lot

When I see my phone I see its power to siphon from all the work I’m doing to heal myself. Social media is a rabbit hole of getting caught up in what other people are doing when we need to focus on doing what it takes to achieve what we desire. Especially in 2020.

That said, phones are amazing, right?? 🙏🏻🤗😜 I love my iPhone and all my tech stuff. It’s what allows me to do what I do with flow and ease.

BUT THERE ARE DAYS WHEN ALL OF THAT TECH STUFF NEEDS TO BE TURNED OFF. Or at least put on airplane mode, save for your kids or immediate family.

And here comes my word for the year ahead again…

STRATEGIZE!

What’s working? What’s helping you achieve what you desire? What’s not? Flush it out. Consistently – with tenacity.

That’s it for my thoughts on 2020.

Thank you for reading! And if you listened to the audio above – thank you! It’s the first of many. 🖤

Feel free to reach out with Qs about anything I shared, or book a reading.

Lots of love,

Managing other people’s perceptions – it’s a thing

December 10, 2019 By Must Love Crows Leave a Comment

There’s no way around it: trying to manage other people’s perceptions can lead to some interesting situations.

If you feel called to put yourself out into the world in a public way you’ll receive a bevy of opportunities to help you figure out how to make amends with the drive to convince people they’ve got it twisted about you.

And if you take an inventory of all the times you’ve tried? You might come up with what I came up with: a bunch of moments when it didn’t work our that well, ie it got super messy and fast.

We can try to have a conversation with someone, about how their judgments of us are way off, but if we do we have to accept that it might not end well.

They might end up judging us even more and we might end up emotionally drained.

Truth time: the person who feels inclined to make mad assumptions is rarely willing to have a conversation about the forces behind their desire to shove you into a box. IE the inner influences that convinced them that judging was the righteous path.

So you have to meander the territory of feeling like you need to defend yourself amidst the reality that if you try to, it likely won’t help you or them in any capacity.

Silence is a message. Not replying is a message.

I’ve integrated the practice of not responding to communications that don’t empower me over the past couple of years, and it’s resulted in a lot of peace and emotional growth. I have more time and space within myself to do the work I need to do.

Much of it comes down to a desire to not enable. I can have compassion for people who are suffering, while choosing not to provide fuel for aggressive behaviours.

Not responding helps you step back into your power.

In the presence of emails, comments and people that aren’t showcasing a desire to empower or nurture you, don’t engage.

I live by the mantra that if you aren’t willing to be honest about your intentions and the source of your drive to judge me, you don’t get my time or energy.

I also live with the need to remind myself of that mantra quite frequently 😂

My life experiences taught me that I needed to protect myself from everyone, all the time. So this is a tough one for me. I need the reminder that I don’t need to show up for things that aren’t serving me a lot – that I don’t need to contribute to unproductive conversations.

If you feel called to put yourself out into the world in a public way, set the intention to heal from the desire to engage with the judgments of strangers.

It’s part of my path, to do the work I do as a writer. And now with acting – it’s kind of the next level of putting yourself out there. Getting in front of a camera can be scary. I need all the energy and emotional resolve I can muster to look after myself – to process the fear and still do a good job.

I can’t funnel my energy into managing perceptions of me AND do a great job.

My energy needs to be focused on what’s important – the areas that impact my capacity to show up and do the work I’m meant to do.

So does yours. Yes, it absolutely does suck when people judge us. It feels crappy and sometimes bizarre (especially this recent one for me. whoosh! It was extensively bizarre!)

But damn if it isn’t a sign you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing.

Stay on track. Mind the lane you’re in – yours – and let other people do whatever they want to do in their own lanes.

‘Cause they’re gonna do it no matter what.

The fallacy is that we can change people, convince them they are wrong or teach them the ways they are wrong.

The most self-loving, self-kindness infused lesson you can offer is the gift of not engaging with judgment.

Honouring yourself is witnessing the moments that affirm you’re doing what you’re meant to do. Even the ones that don’t feel so good to experience.

So honour yourself. Love yourself. And repeat.

Everything is NOT in its place (and that’s OK)

June 4, 2019 By Must Love Crows Leave a Comment

It was 2 am and I had to pee. But I didn’t want to get up because I didn’t want to wake up my cat. 😂

If you’ve got kids, cool, you know what I mean.

Nothing worse than them waking up in the middle of the night thinking it’s time to get up and do day time stuff when you’re trying to take care of business.

Except for me, instead of a human child, it’s a long-haired black cat/parrot.

(The parrot reference = he mimics our voices which is equal parts hilarious and cute).

Jack the cat likes to assume that my late night shuffles down the hallway are invitations to get chatty:

Oh hey! You’re awake! Come on, let’s talk! Also, I need Food!!

That’s what happened last week. He heard me with his hyper Vulcan hearing and came chirping and dramatically meowing down the hallway.

And he wanted stuff from me.

He wanted to be petted and brushed, followed by treats and food – ASAP.

Jack the cat, committing sock felonies and leaving his DNA (read: fur) EVERYWHERE

Hard not to want to oblige – he’s pretty cute.

But he already had food, he just wanted his food a certain way.

His preferred way of being fed is freshly out of the can with the dish placed directly underneath him on the chair (which happens to by MY chair! 😂)

This is funny because it’s not like he has a discerning palate. He’s been busted eating garbage multiple times.

And he doesn’t know the difference between a few hours old and fresh food. I trick him by mixing up his older food, pretending like I just made it, and he falls for it every time!

The real issue is that he wants things a certain way or else he deems them unacceptable.

Cat idiosyncrasies might be cute during the day, but at 2 am when you’re tired and need to pee, they’re overrated.

So I said hello to him, peed, and peaced out behind my closed bedroom door. Then I woke up a few hours later to a startling realization:

I AM EXACTLY LIKE MY CAT.

I am rigid about how things need to be. Sometimes I even reject things because they aren’t the way I want them or expect them to be.

Some of those expectations are in my best interest.

For example, I expect the people in my life to be supportive and loving, or else I don’t allow them into my life.

Boundaries are an important part of the whole mental health mystery. If they aren’t in place, you’re gonna struggle.

But getting caught up in how things need to look and feel and be in other areas is really siphoning the joy out of my life.

I have a lot to be joyful about, just like Jack the cat does. I have good food, good love and support, rewarding work, and stuff and things I’m grateful for.

I am hashtag blessed, yet I let strict expectations run my show, blurring my ability to relax and enjoy all the beauty that comes with the unexpected.

I want to go with the flow more. I want to enjoy the process of life.

I want to experience joy when it’s happening.

To make that happen I need to ditch my drive to control how everything looks and feels.

The 2 am wake up with my fur child has inspired me to investigate my default settings. I’ve begun asking myself some squirm-in-your-seat questions:

Am I allowing the joy to come through in this experience?

Am I shutting myself off from joy by gripping to rigid “ideals” that are anything but?

**It can be really scary to accept that your default response is causing you to suffer.**

All it takes is one unsolicited should-based response from a stranger focusing on your perceived failures instead of the courage it took to be honest about the fact that you don’t have it all figured out, to compel you to clamp your heart shut on stuff that needs to be addressed.

But living with a closed heart is an expensive way to live. It siphons from your ability to experience joy.

So instead of buying into denying or ignoring your issues, focus on taking your power back.

The next time you get uncomfortable about the idea of inquiring into the existence of your own counterproductive default settings – particularly how being truthful about them might be perceived by others – percolate on this statement:

Unless you’re in the arena, too, Brenda, I’m not open or interested in your opinion.

(No offence to any Brenda’s out there. It just felt like the right name for this example.)

If you’re doing this kind of work, you’re on a different wavelength than the should-ers.

Unrequested (and unsupportive) critiques of your journey are coming from people who are not in the same realm of thinking as you, so their comments don’t have a place in your life.

Walk on by unsupportive comments.

Don’t take ownership of them. Just step on over and past them, and keep on walking.

Keep being courageous, ’cause that’s what these kinds of inquiries require: Courage.

FYI: the quote above (minus the Brenda reference) is from Brene Brown’s new Netflix special which I highly recommend you watch.

Watching TV can be self-care if it’s lighting you up like Brene’s show did for me. 😍

I hope something within this post resonated with you. You are loved.

Pssst: If you liked this post you might want to sign up to receive the occasional email from me (anywhere from 1 to 2 per month max.) That’s where this post originated. 🙂

Why I Let Go Of My Fear Of The Comments Section

April 2, 2019 By Must Love Crows Leave a Comment

I’m taking a course right now which is requiring me to do something I usually avoid like the plague.

No, it’s not dairy or gluten, or high fructose corn syrup. 😂

It’s reading the comments section!

I’m being prompted every day to read and interact with other students in the comments.

At first, I flat-out dismissed the idea, and with good reason.

I’m not into keeping tabs on what other people have to say when I’m taking a course. I’m trying to learn, not find out what Sara from Idaho thinks about what we’re learning.

I don’t want other people’s opinions in the mix while I’m taking in information from the experts. Right now I’m learning from a world-renowned psychologist and meditation teacher, and I don’t want anyone or anything getting in the way of me absorbing every last ounce of what she has to share.

But I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the fact that the comment section scares the shit out of me.

I’ve had a small yet effective-at-freaking-me-out sampling of shitty comments over the years.

Misogyny from both men and women? Check! Ego driven passive aggressive grossness? Check! People who don’t even realize they’re being assholes? Check!

Mix mucho passive aggressive responses with a bevy of volatile life experiences, and you’re going to get the blinks whenever you’re perusing the wall of potential ignorance that is the comment section.

So those are some legit reasons why I feel compelled to avoid the comments. It can be volatile territory, a gathering place for ignorance and aggression.

I feel this duty to myself in the name of self-compassion to not entertain that kind of stuff. I don’t want to give it my energy any more than I’ve already given it in this lifetime.

But this course is really poking at me and pushing me to dig into that discomfort. I mean, it’s a course about facing your fears. If ever there was a time to face them, it’s now, right? 😂

Yet still, I began the program wanting to avoid the comments in the course.

Except its part of the program to look at them and contribute to them, so I HAD to stop avoiding them. AHHHHHHH!!!!

An initial “hard pass” on perusing what other people have to say has recently turned into engaging a bit, which has turned into me possibly changing my mind about reading comments altogether.

The catalyst for my shift? The responses my classmates offered to the question, What are your fears?

The answer everyone gave, in both direct and indirect ways, was the Fear of not being good enough.

In this case, comment sections can help us realize that our fear experience is not an anomaly.

They can help us realize that fear is not solely our own experience, it’s a shared experience.

When we are free of the belief that our fear is an anomaly, we are unburdened by a great degree of heaviness.

Case in point, consider the degree of fear you’re carrying when you believe the lie that you are alone in feeling afraid.

To believe you’re alone in your experience, you’d need to believe that you’ve got a serious abnormality – an inherent deficit going on. So you’d end up with the initial fear, plus the fear that you’re alone, and then the fear that you’re intrinsically flawed.

That’s a lot of heaviness to carry with you, right? No wonder you’re tired and anxious all the time!

After reading the comment section in my course it’s clear to me that a lot of our fears can easily be proven wrong.

My mind wanders to imagining the degree of transformation that would come if we all dug into working towards becoming conscious of the fact that EVERYONE is afraid of not being good enough.

In this case, reading the comments can help us disentangle from the lies we tell ourselves about our fear experience.

It’s not “Our” fear, but “The” fear – A fear felt by the collective.

If we become deeply aware of this truth, we won’t feel the need to be so harsh to ourselves and others when we felt afraid.

We could let go of some of the judgment we carry. Wouldn’t that be amazing? 😍

Becoming deeply aware takes work, of course.

Meditation is required. Our brains are wired to focus on judgement first and foremost.

It takes a commitment to keep coming back to noticing fear through meditation in order to change the default setting within us.

But it is absolutely possible to experience a great amount of peace through this work. I am proof of that!

Some days will be smoother sailing than others. If you’re not sleeping well, or have the flu, or someone’s behaviour is triggering fear within you, it can be hard to stay the course, and tough to remember how to be kind to yourself.

But there’s an instantaneous self-compassion catalyst I’m sharing with you today which you can reference whenever you’re feeling lost in fear:

The memory of all those comments, posted by people from all different backgrounds and ages, courageously admitting to their deepest and darkest fear: That 9 times out of 10, they are afraid of not being good enough, too.

You are not an anomaly, you are part of the collective. Therefore, you are not alone.

Also: You are loved. It’s non-negotiable.

Struggling With Guilt Over How You Reacted? This Might Help.

January 7, 2019 By Must Love Crows Leave a Comment

You want to be loving. You really, really do. Especially with that one person who reliably displaces their fear and frustrations onto others.

You affirm your patience. You ask for guidance. You seek solace in your beautiful, heart-led intentions to be a generous and loving human being.

But you miss your mark in their presence, and quickly hone in on hopin’, and wishin’, and thinkin’, that you woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’ done better.

Good news: Guilt is a sign that you need to prioritize self-kindness.

After a less than stellar interaction with someone whose very presence is an emotional trigger, you need love. Because if you can’t be around someone without pain attempting to do the thinking and speaking for you, you’re still reeling from the past.

To heal from the past you need high-frequency feelings pulsing through your body, mind, and spirit, like love.

Love is…self-compassion when you miss the kindness mark in the company of certain people.

You know the ones I’m talking about…

We don’t need to try to eradicate our guilt. Nope. Nadda. Not productive.

We just need to notice guilt’s priceless message: “Psst! We need some self-compassion in here, Stat!”

Love up on yourself when guilt makes itself known. Notice it and breathe into it. Acknowledge your humanness and the timeline of trauma that has a tendency to interfere with your intentions to be kind on every occasion.

And vow to try again next time. 🙏🏻

This one’s Instagram ready. Right click & Save to share:

It’s never up for debate: You are loved.