My name is Andrea, and I care about what other people think:
I care when I’m sharing stories about my personal life that include my loved ones;
I care when I invite people over for dinner and one of them has a food allergy or can’t fathom the idea of eating mushrooms;
I care when I’m creating digital products that could potentially help others;
I care when I set boundaries for my wellbeing and someone gets upset with me. Not because I’m worried about pleasing them, but because I know they must REALLY be struggling if they feel motivated to challenge a woman’s right to say no to something she is not comfortable with.
Things I don’t care about as much:
Side eye from other women when I’m rocking my 70s jeans, a crop top, and a bright lip (speaking of that…);
A stranger’s inability to be kind to me 😉;
When someone doesn’t want to respond to my message or spend time with me (It’s super duper simple: I invest my time and energy in people who WANT to invest their time in me);
What other people think when I say no to invites to events I’m not comfortable attending.
We care about what other people think and feel because of a thing called Empathy.
There are a lot of people struggling in the world, and I will always care about that. Maybe you can relate?
I know how hard it is when you’re struggling to the degree that you act like a dick to a complete stranger. But if we don’t figure out how to process strong feelings we end up emoting in the shittiest of ways.
That said, it’s OK to care about what other people think, even if/when they are communicating their opinions in void-of-empowerment kinda ways.
But don’t need to let outside opinions be the deciding factor in your life.
Care that other people are struggling and lashing out; Care that you feel rattled by a shitty comment online; Care that someone isn’t capable of being kind to you…
Just don’t make caring about other people’s opinions your top priority.
Instead, choose to dig into understanding the struggle that is being human, meandering the world feeling intermittently lost and misguided, and potentially (and probably) acting like a dick on occasion.
But puhleeaasse, for the betterment of your wellbeing and society as a whole, don’t own other people’s pain.
Become aware of, and disconnect from, the compulsion to make outside opinions a piece of your identity.
What “they” think does not need to decide your moods for you, how you treat others, deliver you into the abyss of shame, or siphon from your well.
While there will always be a part of you that does care, it doesn’t need to be at the forefront of everything you do.
If your intention is to create positive change in the world through a commitment to creating a copacetic inner landscape, you’re on the right path.
‘Cause it all starts with you – You help others by healing yourself.
Remember (and right-click & save to share on Instagram or Facebook):
No debating it: You. Are. Loved.
For more insights and a free wellness resource, connect with me.