Here’s the deal: me circa five years ago would have totally rolled her eyes at the fact that the word magic is in this newsletter subject line.
But present day me has experienced too many amazing moments in the past while to call it anything but, so allow me to explain:
I was working at this part-time gig for a while (2.9 years to be exact) and I wanted out in a bad way. I realized I had been dreading my shifts pretty much the entire time I worked there, and it was time to leave and open the door to the possibility of a happier work life.
So I quit (posted a video about it on my Facebook page) but was being pretty typical Andrea about it. Wanting to be accommodating, I stayed past the two weeks, to the tune of a month, still without drawing a firm line in the cement that said, “<this day> will be my last day.”
My people pleasing tendencies and the shame I still held onto from the past, about not being able to hold a job for a prolonged period of time, are what kept me there so long. And those reasons are also why I felt the need to stay after finding out my replacement, who hadn’t worked in the industry for 17 years, was making more money than me to train.
I am not perfect. I am human. But I busted my ass at that job.
I know I am worth more than the one and only raise I got the entire time I worked there (which was offered one week before I gave my notice.)
And I sure as heck know that someone with such limited experience should not be getting paid more than me to train.
Logic would dictate that I should have just quit on the spot. But noooo….I still left my shift thinking, “I can’t quit. I have to train this person. I don’t want her to struggle the way I did.”
I went to my other gig right after that and, well – I had a tough time. I struggled to concentrate and release the feelings surrounding what I’d just found out. I just wanted to go home and cry it out into a pizza box with grease smeared on my face, which is what I planned to do after I stopped at a client’s house on the way home.
And that’s when the magic happened.
After a short chat with the client, he offered me a permanent monthly retainer, to the tune of the exact same amount of money I made at jerk faces office.
So I shook his hand and said thank you. And then I got in my car and sob-cried the story to my hubby on speaker phone the whole way home because I was so overwhelmed with relief and gratitude.
To me, it was life telling me to release what no longer served me.
It was time to command my worth and walk away from a person who didn’t value me.
Needless to say, I dropped off my keys in the mail slot the next day. And to say I’m grateful for having been able to do so is an understatement.
It was a pretty monumental moment for me. I mean sure, it could all be taken as a coincidence, the fact that this client offered me – to the dollar – the same amount of money per month that I made at the place I had just quit.
But what I haven’t told you is that I’ve been hoping and affirming that I would find myself in a financial situation that would allow me to write more; to tend to my site more; to work on my upcoming resource guide.
This new job allows me to do that. It frees up more of my time, without having to worry about the loss of income I would have faced in quitting the old one.
I’ve also been focusing on attaining a monthly amount, and affirming, “my income is always increasing.” And whenever I say those words with intention it comes to be.
My income is now where I want it to be. I’m talking, I had a number in mind that I focused on, and I achieved it.
The old me would have laughed at all this stuff. Dismissed it as a joke or as pure luck, and continued on her pessimistic and angry way.
But today I know this isn’t about luck. It’s about learning that following my heart is more important than following my fears.
My heart told me to let go of the people who don’t value me, and in doing so, I was gifted with people who do. Which is proof that the more I push through the fear, the more amazing my life becomes.
How the heck does one, “push through the fear?”
Such a loaded question, and not an easy one to answers. But I’m working on answering it.
I’m dusting off my technical writing skills (that’s what I studied in college) by writing a quick reference guide to use on days when fear tries to take over.
I’m human, which means some days I’m really good at it dealing with fear, and pain, and anger, and sadness.
But it’s been my experience that when things become challenging in the emotional department, we get overwhelmed by our feelings and lose sight of all the things that could help us.
That’s when we turn to counterproductive and damaging pastimes as a means to soothe ourselves.
On those days we need guidance – a reminder of what works. And we don’t want to have to search out the answers via 20 different sources, ie: books, people, therapists, course work.
We just need something to reference to remind us that we got this; that this too shall pass; and that we are stronger and more powerful than we think we are.
While I’m not a doctor or a therapist, I have spent the past five years religiously committed to health and wellness. I’ve spent a lot of time and money on alternative therapy, and research via books and self-help courses.
And I’ve also spent 20 years doing things the wrong way, which has offered it’s fair share of lessons and insights as well.
So I’m going to take what has helped me and put it into this mini resource guide. And I’m going to share it with you. Soon.
When it’s ready, I’ll be sending it to everyone on my mailing list. So if you know anyone who might be interested in it, send them this way and they’ll get a copy.
Now For A Resource
I’m going to share just one resource with you today, but it’s a powerful one.
This is one of the most frequently referenced books in my collection and it’s helped me out big time.
It’s contributed to my ability to obtain my desired monthly income, and get control of the body pain I found myself haunted by. And it’s called:
When I first heard about the connection between body pain and money, I was straight up, “Nope! That’s crazy talk!”
But then, well – it made sense.
The beliefs we have affect our minds and our bodies.
Our bodies speak to us all the time, the problem being that we look at the pain language as something to avoid or complain about, rather than an opportunity to figure out what our bodies and minds need from us in order to heal.
We spend a lot of time being mad at the pain, and a lot of money on pain killers to avoid it, all the while complaining about how our bodies are failing us.
But there is an alternative: we can take the pain as an opportunity to learn more about the mind-body connection, and work towards helping and healing ourselves.
When I started choosing to value and listen to the messages my body was giving me – even the ones that had me in the hospital – life started to get better.
And reading this book was one of the catalysts to helping me understand that.
And that’s the end of newsletter #3
I hope you might feel a bit inspired by the story I’ve shared here. If you have any questions about what I’ve written, I’d love to hear from you. Send me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Check me out with my friend Jaylee in Vancouver last June. I had the best time shopping and eating and doing pilates with her. (Side note: she is an exceptional pilates teacher. Check her out at Good Citizen Pilates)
Might have to make a return visit soon, specifically for some crazy good vegan pizza from Virtuous Pie. And Robson street shopping never loses it’s appeal to me.
Either way, time to plan something, as a west coast winter is brewing, and we all need a little pick me up from the rain and cold. Yes, planning a trip to visit a friend is a form of self-care and self-love!
AKA, Must Love Crows