More often than not, our new year’s resolutions are directed towards improving our exterior.
I am not going to shame that. I think it’s great to want to look and feel great through diet and exercise. I just finished yoga and am eating a bowl of organic something or other right now (OK it’s oats and wild blueberries with hemp seeds. Part of me wishes it was a plate of french fries though.)
But eating right and working out isn’t going to make your 2018 great. It’s a strong contributor, but not the end all be all. Here’s why.
For many years I had a belief lodged in my head that told a lie:
“If I eat healthily and work out, life will fall into place. I won’t be so depressed and anxious all the time, and I’ll be more successful.”
I was committed AF to that belief. And while it came from a really great place (me wanting to be healthier and happier) it did not address an integral component of the wellness process.
It didn’t acknowledge the beliefs I had about myself that were affecting my ability to be healthy and happy.
While I think it is absolutely paramount that we pay attention to what we put in our mouths and commit to looking after our bodies through exercise, there’s much more to achieving a state of health and wellness than those extensively interrelated processes alone.
The truth is, the beliefs you have about yourself, particularly the negative ones, have the ability to sabotage all of your efforts to create an exceptional life.
You can juice cleanse to your heart’s content, ditch the dairy and gluten, and cross-fit the hell outta yourself on the regular. You can get skinny AF and fit into jeans you last wore in your early 20s.
But if you’re holding strong to negative beliefs, you’ve got an invisible drain siphoning all the value from your efforts.
So the most practical new year’s 2018 resolution I can think of and am recommending to you, is to pick the shittiest belief you have about yourself and work on changing it.
You may have a lot of them to choose from, which isn’t a bad thing. It just means you are in good company because every single person I know has a ton of ’em.
Take some time – schedule it in if you have to – and figure out what beliefs you’re white knuckling.
Find the absolute worst one. You know, the one that makes you feel all sorts of terrible every time it crosses your mind.
The most hurtful belief you come across – the one you wish didn’t exist the most – is the one you’re going to work on changing.
“Ok. How the hell do I do that?”
To counteract that limiting belief, you’re going to create an empowering belief.
How does that process look? I’ll share one from my vault to get things started:
Limiting belief: If people don’t like me it means there is something innately wrong with me that needs to change.
Empowering belief: I am learning to accept myself exactly as I am.
The empowering belief you create is going to become your BFF during 2018.
You’re going to get up close and personal with it, reading, speaking and writing it out every morning (multiple times a day if necessary), taping it to your fridge, making it a pinned note on your phone, and a screen saver on all your devices.
You’re going to put that sucker everywhere. And you’re going to repeat it in your head or out loud whenever you can remember to do so (morning and night for sure) but particularly when the terrible-awful beliefs come ‘a calling, telling you how much you suck.
Why does this process work?
Our beliefs guide our actions, influence our decisions and impact our mood and well-being. So if you’re thinking shitty things about yourself, you’ll be less inclined to be kind to yourself.
I.e., act in ways that support your wellbeing.
You aren’t likely to commit to working out or eating healthy if you don’t like yourself.
If you don’t appreciate who you are, you aren’t going to pay much attention to your most basic requirements, like eating well, exercising, and taking time to clear your mind (I added that last bit in as a nod to the power of incorporating meditation into your life. It’s the greatest gift you can give yourself.)
If you can eradicate the stress one painful belief causes your body, mind and soul (the stress that distracts you from looking after yourself in loving ways) life can and will get better.
Now this process won’t guarantee that your 2018 will be picture-perfect, no-stress, no-bad-days kind of amazing (I loathe those bumper stickers. Seriously, who has no bad days? And like we need any more guilt about not feeling grateful 24/7, right? Oy vey.)
But if you do your best to commit to reminding yourself of that empowering belief, you’ll feel better about yourself, which will open the door to you accepting and seeking out more opportunities that make you happy, balancing the scales so there are less shitty moments and more hell-yes ones in the coming year.
Wishing you peace, prosperity, and self-love this coming year and always. And I look forward to connecting with you more in 2018. Please feel free to reach out anytime if you want to chat about anything I mentioned here, in my newsletter, or any post moving forward, OK?